What to do about expats behaving badly?

Have you heard the one about the Ugly Australian abroad? I was reminded of this when a friend told me that he could never live in Thailand because of the way the expatriate community behaves.

Having spent a lot of time in Thailand — and in other places where expats dwell — I have to say that I understand what he means. And it’s not just Aussies who are behaving badly.

Many popular tourists destinations, especially in Asia, have become overrun by expats (mostly, it must be said, older men) with a sense of entitlement and a total disregard for the local population.

While I’ve met some great people in my travels, there is a certain type of expatriate who makes my skin crawl, and makes me ashamed to be a foreigner.

There’s one in the part of Thailand I’m in now: a creepy old guy who comes into a bar I frequent and tries to force his attention onto the young women there. Now, I’m not naive. I know some of the bar employees, through economic necessity or other reasons, do make themselves available to men. But they do so on their own terms. They deserve respect.

When a woman actively fends somebody off — as I saw just before I began writing this — somebody has to call them out. Which is exactly what I did.

I watched as this young woman ran away from the drunken molester, positioning a chair between them and cowering. So, I called him out. When I shouted at him to leave her alone, he didn’t take it kindly. Nor did he stop his offensive behaviour — until I doubled down with a few swear words, and, perhaps, the suggestion that I might be prepared to force the point. He then reluctantly retreated. 

A few people around me — including other bar staff — seemed to approve of what I did, but I know it’s not going to make a difference in the long term.

Of course, in another place, in another country, he would have been thrown out on his ear, but he wasn’t. So he’ll probably try it on again, and if he does so around me, my only option is to advise the management (who weren’t present on this occasion) to implement their duty of care to their staff or to lose me as a customer.

The deeper problem is that I fear  the molester has no sense of having done anything wrong. His belief, shared by many other expats, is that the customer is always right: he comes here with his money, and he’s entitled to do as he pleases.

Along with a nice home, perhaps a car or motorbike, good food, affordable health care and ample alcohol, women are just another commodity that he can afford to own when he converts his euros/pounds/dollars to baht. The idea of consent goes out the window when there is a belief that everything is available at a price.

It’s no wonder that some countries are restricting tourism and long-term visas for expats. While they welcome the money it brings in, they don’t want the cultural subjugation that is occurring, not just in parts of Thailand (think Phuket and Pattaya), but in the Philippines and to a lesser extent Cambodia, Vietnam and Indonesia.

Respect is the key to travel. If you have no time for the local people, their beliefs, their lifestyles and their customs, then you have no business being in their place. It’s as simple as that.

Of course, it also cuts both ways. In an effort to attract foreigners, because of their spending power or their expertise, some countries do a pretty good job of subverting their own culture. Expats may not be allowed to get away with murder, but a blind eye is often turned to illegal behaviour.

Fair enough, you may say, but when that is done selectively — and some people suffer excessively for what others do with impunity — it becomes an issue. But that’s a post for another day.