“Summer fling don’t mean a thing. But, ah, oh, those summer nights.”
(Summer Lovin’, Grease, Jacobs/ Casey, 1978)
Many of us have had a holiday romance, but how many of those love affairs ever last? Maybe more than you’d think.
According to an HSBC survey, reported by Travel+Leisure, one in 50 travellers say they have found the love of their life (no less) on an airplane.
T+L noted that the survey “also found that 16 percent of [travellers who responded to the HSBC survey] had formed a business connection on a flight, while 14 percent made long-lasting friendships with folks they met while flying”.
That’s just up in the air. What about all the people who meet on cruise ships (enough to sustain nine seasons of The Love Boat), on bus trips, and in pubs, clubs and on beaches around the world?
You might say that meeting somebody on holiday proves at least two things: you both like to travel and you have similar tastes when it comes to destinations or mode of transport.
But is that enough to sustain a lifetime commitment? Or should we heed the words of Ben Groundwater in Traveller? He notes: “Something strange happens when you’re travelling. All of a sudden you’re attracted to people you wouldn’t normally give the time of day. You’re finding yourself in the arms of someone who in normal life would be completely wrong for you on every level.”
Of course, there is a scientific view as to why we fall in love more easily in unusual situations, which has been explored by Dr Arthur Aron, a research professor at New York’s Stony Brook University.
“Many years ago, we did a study that showed if you were to meet someone on a scary suspension bridge, you were more likely to have an attraction to that person than if you were to meet that same person on a safer, less scarier bridge,” Dr Aron says in this Telegraph article by Soo Kim.
Kim extrapolates: “So if you’re physically stirred up in some way, as in the case of the bridge experiment which was caused by fear, and you’re in the presence of someone who is reasonably attractive, you could potentially misinterpret this as love or romantic attraction.”
As is often the case, the brain chemical dopamine, which responds to stimuli such as fear, cocaine and chocolate, plays a role.
So, what you are feeling may well be just temporary. Which, of course, is fine if you are only looking for a fling.
In general, my (very limited) experience is that you often don’t find what you really want when you go looking for it. That applies to romance as much as anything else. So, if you go on a holiday specifically looking for love, you may very well be disappointed.
However, I’ve certainly met good people while travelling — especially on cruise ships, where there’s the time to really get to know someone — and I have developed friendships that have continued on social media and in “real” life.
Who knows, one day I may find Ms Right in my travels. In any case, as far as I’m concerned, travel is its own reward.
