Updated (see footnote)
I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve become a regular contributor to Quora.com, and that 
my answers to questions on travel are gaining a small amount of attention.
Well, in the past few days, one of them has gone through the roof. There have been tens of thousands of engagements with my answer to this question: Is it okay to stay in a hotel with a fiancée for a vacation in Abu Dhabi?
It’s really no surprise that people from the non-Muslim world are interested in what they can and cannot do in a Middle Eastern country. After all, few of us want to offend our hosts — and nobody wants to get arrested.
That is made difficult by the fact that not a lot of official information is available. Why? Because it touches on what many people in these countries regard as taboo topics. I’m talking about sex and drinking alcohol.
I want to say from the outset that the United Arab Emirates — you’ll know Dubai and Abu Dhabi, but there are five other emirates that make up the UAE — is a very tolerant and welcoming place.
But while, with restrictions, drinking alcohol is permitted for non-Muslims (except in the emirate of Sharjah, which is dry), you’re not going to see much written about it in local newspapers and magazines or on official websites.
Suffice it to know that you can get a drink — a very good and very expensive one, if you want — at most hotels, in restaurants and in bars that can be just a little bit difficult to find. There are also liquor stores, yet their windows are blacked out and there is a minimum of outside signage.
Don’t expect to learn much about the beverage menu when you read local restaurant reviews — except perhaps an acknowledgement that a “full range” of drinks is available, including “grape-based” and “hop-based” drinks and “bubbles”.
Of course, it should go without saying that public drunkenness and drink-driving (with a zero limit) will get you into trouble, as they will almost anywhere in the world.
More opaque, though, are laws about who can consume alcohol and where. Some readings of the law in some emirates will indicate that a tourist can only drink in their own hotel (which would prohibit the popular pastime of bar-hopping or even a nightclub visit).
And only non-Muslim expatriates with the proper licence (yes, a drinking licence) are technically allowed to buy alcohol to take away and drink/keep alcohol at home. The problem is that many stores don’t ask for that ID.
If it’s confusing when it comes to drinking, it’s even more so when it comes to cohabitation and sex.
Here’s an edited version of what I wrote on Quora:
It is against the law to share a house, flat or room with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, sibling, parent or other very close relative.
But the reality is that people do it all the time. The UAE wouldn’t have much of a tourism industry if this particular law were strictly enforced. That’s not to say it is never enforced, though.
There have been several recent cases of people being locked up for weeks or months for this offence, before being deported. In general, it is unlikely to happen to you.
What would make things crystal clear, of course, would be official advice from the government tourism authorities. If it exists, I have never seen it.
I suspect it doesn’t exist because there are many people in the UAE who have very conservative attitudes towards gender relations and alcohol. The authorities don’t want to offend those people by committing to print rules that apparently go against the prevailing moral code — even if those rules only apply to foreigners.
What we do know is that people sometimes end up in jail and then facing a judge for a crime they didn’t know they had committed. And given that there is no principle of precedent in court proceedings, very little can be gleaned from court outcomes to guide others.
The problem for tourists and expats is that they are left guessing about the legality or otherwise of their conduct.
When a hotel receptionist will check you and your partner into the same room — despite knowing (or having a pretty good inkling) that you are not married — and takeaway alcohol is offered for sale with no ID checks, it’s very hard to know what the law is.
The only good advice is to be discreet. Don’t draw attention to yourself and you’ll be OK. Probably.
Update. A friend in the UAE writes:
Two points it might be worth making: buying alcohol from a shop in Dubai is hard, but in Abu Dhabi it’s easier [if you don’t have a licence]; it’s just the store won’t give you a receipt.
Also staying in a hotel room if you are not married depends on the hotel: for 1-2 stars, they might ask; for the 3-star and up hotels, especially if you’ve booked online or from abroad, they won’t ask. A friend has tested this several times.
